Calling all Premier League players over the age of 30. Are you tired of the stresses and strains of playing in the most competitive division in the world?
Have you had enough of playing 1500 games over Christmas in the pissing rain and subzero temperatures?
Do you like money – even if you probably don’t deserve it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should consider a move to the Turkish Super Lig this summer. Here are eight Premier League ballers who could be doing just that in the upcoming transfer window.
There’s no other place to start than with Mesut Ozil. The Germany international seems to have given up even trying to pretend that he wants to stay at Arsenal, spending his days sulking on the substitutes bench with an umbrella – when he even makes the squad at all.
It’s clear that Mikel Arteta sees no place for Ozil in his squad and while it is a shame to see a player of his mesmerising talent banished to the Super Lig, Ozil might actually quite enjoy it.
We can envisage him living it up at Istanbul Basaksehir. Although his astronomical wages would likely bankrupt any other club in the league within a few seasons, Basaksehir are the favoured club of president Erdogan so they’d probably be alright…
Right, we’ll level with you. We thought Islam Slimani had already snuck off to Turkey a few years ago.
Turns out, he’s still contracted to Leicester somehow and his move to Fenerbahce in 2018 was of the loan variety. The striker spent this season at Monaco and he’s not done too badly at all. 16 goal involvements in just 18 Ligue 1 games suggest that the Algerian could still be up to Premier League standard.
However, with just one year left on his deal it’s inevitable that the Foxes will be looking to cash in during the summer and we’re sure 32-year-old Slimani wouldn’t begrudge one final career pay day in warmer climes.
Rash, unhinged, evil – just three words used to describe tough tackling Manchester United misfit Marcos Rojo in the past. Okay, maybe not the last one actually.
Joining the club in 2014, brief periods of promise have been interspersed with longer spells of poor form and despite having one year left on his Old Trafford deal, the Argentine will likely be moved on in the summer.
Finding a club for the defender could prove challenging but if history tells us anything, it’s that there’s no better place to send your overpaid, aging Premier League stars than the Super Lig. Rojo fits the bill perfectly.
Nampalys Mendy was signed as a direct replacement for N’Golo Kante in 2016. Corr, no pressure then.
Mendy getting injured during his debut was a sign of things to come and the midfielder has never really settled at the King Power Stadium.
There was a brief period when Claude Puel twinned him with Wilfred Ndidi to create the least creative midfield pairing in Premier League history – but the less said about that stain on humanity the better. Please Fenerbahce, come an end Mendy’s Leicester nightmare before it’s too late.
Once touted as the next big thing by Alex Ferguson at the start of the decade, Ravel Morrison’s career has since lurched from one disappointment to the next.
Chris Wilder was the latest manager to convince himself that he could turn Morrison’s fortunes around, only for the former Manchester United man to make just one Premier League appearance all season. Most recently, he was tossed on the scrapheap by Neil Warnock who told him his services would not be required for the remainder of his loan spell with Middlesbrough.
In the past, the 27-year-old has travelled to Italy, Mexico and Sweden in an attempt to rekindle his career. What’s the harm in adding a Turkish stamp to his passport?
In the competitive world of footballing haircuts it takes a lot to stand out but Ezequiel Schelotto’s luscious locks do just that.
The Italian looks like the frontman of a 1970s glam rock band with his volumized hair and goatee combination representing one of the most distinctive looks in all of football.
Brighton boss Graham Potter has already confirmed that Schelotto will be released at the end of the season and a move to a Turkish club could be an option, provided there’s a good hairdresser within travelling distance of the training ground of course.
If Daniel Sturridge can do it, what’s to stop Andy Carroll giving the Super Liga go before he retires?
We think he’d appreciate the ready availability of doner kebabs in his new surroundings as much as the hefty wages.
As there’s two less teams in the Turkish top flight, they’ll also be less games which reduce the strain on his famously frail body. There really isn’t a reason for Carroll not to make the move.
We can’t be the only ones whose jaws hit the floor when we found out Christian Atsu was 27 years old.
Time has run out for the forward to fulfil his promise at Newcastle and he’s only managed to rack up a handful of Premier League starts over the past few seasons.
It’s clear he needs an easier challenge and Turkey could be the answer. Chelsea must still have a sell-on clause as well which will help them fund the frankly ridiculous amount of transfer business that Frank Lampard has planned for the summer.